MARRIED OR NOT*** You Should Read This…. When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. i suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconscio usly I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’ s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divotrce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have afever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I ran up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was too busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from whatever negative reaction it would have on our son, in case we pushed through with the divorce. —At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband…. THE SMALL DETAILS OF YOUR LIVES ARE WHAT REALLY MATTER IN A RELATIONSHIP. “IT’S NOT” the Mansion or House, the Car, Property, the Money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Most of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up… YOU DONT REALIZE WHAT YOU HAVE UNTIL ITS GONE!!

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What is enough sex in a marriage? How does a spouse explain that they aren’t getting enough from their husband or wife? This often leads to the spouse who is feeling this way to question other aspects of their own desirability. However, having feelings of inadequacies are normal when facing this issue. Often people ask: Am I too fat? Why doesn’t she/he touch me? Women often get this feeling doing times of pregnancy or just after having a baby, but what about the men who feel the same? Tiger Woods eluded to the fact that once he got married all the sex in their relationship stopped. Surprisingly, many men feel this way as well. Men are often looked down upon or as being less masculine if they discuss this subject with their wife. But then the question should be would you rather your husband cheat? A relationship is built upon three solid principles, Sex, Money and Communication. Not necessarily in that order and they never weigh the same. Every relationship is give and take. Listening to your spouse’s concerns is the first step while effectively communicating your own. Whereas a request may be primary on your spouse’ list, it may not be on yours. What is important to one, should be important to the other. It is paramount that this is understood. Making a sufficient effort to change, compromise or work with your spouse cannot be just a temporary change, it must be permanent. If you are not willing to make permanent changes in your life for your spouse, then why are your married? Sex in any relationship can be a maker or breaker. The primary thing to remember is “what you won’t do, someone else will.” Not enough sex in marriage can be dangerous and has proven so many times before. Sex can be something easy to remedy or something relatively hard. If you are not able to solve this issue with a rational discussion, succeeding in a permanent change, then professional help should be sought. Not enough sex in marriage can often lead to no sex in marriage or simply no marriage at all. What would you tell someone who said that there is not enough sex in marriage or especially their marriage? And while you are asking yourself this question or answering it for a friend, also remember to consider the other side of the coin as well. This is why communication is very important in any relationship, especially a marriage.

Marriage is defined in many different ways. The dictionary along with many other websites and books have their separate definition of it, but the real question is, what is marriage to you? Marriage to me is simply strengthening the bonds that two people share. Making a further commitment to someone that you love, cherish and respect. Sharing your life together under your God’s law is the ultimate expression of love. I married my best friend, someone that always has my back. Who did you marry or most importantly, who do you want to marry? If you cannot say truly that you not only love someone, but that you are in-love with them, then you are marrying the wrong person. Your spouse should be your friend, someone that you can trust, confide in and most importantly laugh with. If you cannot make those statements, then reevaluate before you are another statistic of divorce.

I have asked many women this question and received many different answers. The consensus seems to be based on two answers, sensual and sexual. Many women consider holding hands during a walk in the park or snuggling on the couch during a movie at home a very intimate moment. Being with the one you love is the ultimate date, sharing caring and loving. How your man treats his other half without having sex says a lot about who he is. If a man shows a sensitive side without trying to have sex can show a women that he truly cares about who she is and not for what she has. She wants a man who is not afraid of his shortcomings or inadequacies, but can express his true feelings about any issues that may be at the foremost of his mind. Rea*sure your lady and let her know that her problems are not her downfall. Lift her up and not remind her of them. If she has a problem with her weight, remind her that you love her “just the way she is.” Being caring and supportive of her is what any man or partner should do. If you cannot do this, then maybe you should look at your relationship and your values again.

However, a women wants to have a truly meaningful sexual encounter. Curling her toes while being in the clouds is not a cliche’, but the truth about how she wants to feel. A man must be able to take instructions. She knows her body, you think you do. He must not have the mindset of “the way he is doing it is right and how she wants it!” Listen to your woman because after all you are pleasing her. Your goal should always be to make her climax multiple times while leading yourself to one of the best feelings you have ever had. Do these and you will have a truly meaningful relationship.

LogIn and let us know what you think. We and the world truly want to know What Do Women Want In An Intimate Relationship.

How important is intimacy to you? This is a question many ask and often ponder when seeking a significant other. Intimacy should be as important to your mate as it is to you! Time and time again, relationships often fail due to the lack of intimacy. Intimacy can be anything from public displays of affection to burning up the sheets in the bedroom. It is important that you commuicate this to your mate and together have a clear understanding of what is expected. If your ideas of intimacy differ from that of your partner, then how much are they willing to compromise? How much are you? A relationship is a “two way street” and another “fulltime job.” Communication is the key to any relationship and as well as Intimacy Before and After Marriage. What do you think?

Often people allow love to dictate policy.  Meaning, being in-love with someone makes you forget family.  Should the person that you are in-love with separate you from your family?  When is enough enough?  Love is a powerful thing and should not be taken for granted, but when those on the outside looking in tell you that your relationship is destructive, when should you take it seriously?  Enough is enough only when the person in the relationship realize what is truly going on, wake up and say “enough is enough!”  What are your thoughts?  Tell us and the world wants to know.

My friend recently got divorce after a long marriage of 20yrs.  He often talked to me about the various problems that he and his wife had.  Being a single person, I couldn’t consciously offer solid advice about what you should and shouldn’t do in a marriage, but I did advised that he should give it his all.  If you try to make your marriage work and it doesn’t is it really your fault.  Often people ask, what do you mean by try?  Almost as infamous as why, trying means that doing what needs to be done to make the marriage work.  Here are couple of examples: revert back to doing the things you did to get that person.  Meaning, send flowers, have a bath waiting on them when they get home from work or even maybe just a good, long ma*sage without trying to have sex.  Some of the basic things that people have gotten out of the habit of doing can make the outlook on a marriage change.  Often people become complacent with the relationship and just say “hi” and “bye” with a quick peck on the mouth or cheek.  That isn’t going to work.  Another thing that people often do is try and change a person into what you want them to be.  This often the biggest mistake ever!  Loving that person for who they are can be the most rewarding give to you that you never thought about.  There should be a compromise, but the couple should discuss what each other wants and desires are.  Communicate, always try and talk about what is bothering you.  If you can’t talk to the person that you are with, then the relationship is headed for the fast track to the end.  Regaining Intimacy After Divorce is truly hard and can often be a hard thing to do, but it can happen.  Best of luck to those having these issues and most importantly, stay positive.

Memorial Day was originally designed to honor those fallen Union soldiers of the Civil War.  Eventually, the soldiers of the Confederate Armies were also included.  Now, Memorial Day is celebrated for various reasons, more-so as a holiday of family enjoyment and the start of summer.  However, let us not forget how we got here.  It is because of those men and women who previously and currently serve in a volunteer army that secures the liberties that we all currently enjoy.  Regardless of what most people may say, our lives are still better than most and we need to remember why we have it.  So, Happy Memorial Day to all those who have and are currently serving in Our Nations’ Volunteer Military Service.  I salute all Airmen, Marines, Sailors and Soldiers.  Thank you for everything that you have done and continue to do for me and my family.  Without you, my ability to enjoy the freedoms the U.S. Constitution will not be so.

Building Intimacy In Relationships, old or new is very easy, yet difficult to do. New relationships often get off to the wrong start by rushing into what they call intimacy. Many often referred to as having casual sex. Intimacy can be a variety of things that people today don’t consider. For instance, simply holding hands while walking in the park or sharing a blanket while watching a movie at home can be considered intimacy by many. More seasoned relationship often suffer from a lack of intimacy. We often become complacent in our day to day lives and forget about what made their relationship spark. The answer to the many issues of intimacy can be solved by doing something as simple as talking/communicating. Talk with your partner about what you want and/or expect from the relationship in all aspects. Intimacy is definitely a very important topic for any relationship.   Communicating about what you want or expect can solve many problems before they start.  However, also be open minded about what your partner has to say as well.  Don’t forget, listening is just as important as communicating what is on your mind.  If you do this basic thing, then intimacy can be very rewarding and fantastic or can be renewed in a relationship that is lacking. Tell us what you feel building intimacy in relationships needs.

While everyday should be Mother’s Day, we all take today out to especially give thanks to those moms that have done the impossible for many, raise a child. Keep up the good work and again, Happy Mother’s Day!